A Novel Approach

I have been feeling stagnant recently

I need a fresh outlook, a

New approach so I have made

A resolution, a radical one maybe.

I’m going to disconnect, a bit,

From the internet this weekend (Gasp!).

I can’t go cold turkey because

I do have work emails to

Respond to, but, I am going

To take Layla’s “Sprench” class on

Saturday morning.  She has a two

Hour line-up of language and poetry

Scheduled for me.  In the afternoon

Brandon’s intermediate yoga class, followed by

Scrabble with friends at the new

Local hipster café (I’ll wear black).

Sunday I have a brunch date,

With a man I met virtually

I’m looking forward to a face-to-face

So I can see his eyes,

And hear his voice, and see

If there’s any chemistry beyond e-mail.

I’m hoping to clear my mind

Of who has read my blog

Or made a witty remark on

Facebook or looked at my profile.

Don’t get me wrong.  I love

Those things, but I need a

Change, so here I go, being

Present with what I can see

And touch and taste and smell.

Is that such a novel approach?

If you need me, give me

A call, or better yet, stop

By.  I’d love to see you.

* * * * * * * *

A “novel” Six Word Friday post.  Have you got any new approaches that you’re trying out?  My sister is always working on a new scheme, regime or philosophy.  That’s one of the things that makes her so fun.

Cupid’s Arrows

Despite the fact that I was hanging out at home alone last night, it seems as though Cupid’s arrows were flying everywhere on my behalf.  The credit belongs to OKCupid, the new online dating service that I am using.  The Match guys were getting pretty boring.  The OKC guys, on the other hand, are pretty darned funny, yet not always in a good way.

Despite not receiving much activity for a while, the last few days have been full of interesting missives.  I am chalking it up to the Valentine’s effect.  People realize that they are alone and better do something about it.  I’ve been entertaining my friends on Facebook with updates about the guys all day, so I thought I’d share the love with my blog readers too.

One guy said that my profile struck him dumb, that he had spent days trying to come up with something witty and memorable to catch my eye but that he literally couldn’t think of a thing.  So…he asked for my help in starting the conversation.  Read the rest of this entry »

Single Awareness Day

Valentines Day is so controversial.  One of my students, who recently broke up with her boyfriend and whose parents are going through a divorce, aptly termed it “Single Awareness Day.”  She does make a good point.  Even if you’re happy being single, this day has the ability to make you feel like a girl that hasn’t been asked to the prom (I so didn’t want to go anyway).

People must have a heightened sense of loneliness today because I received a bunch of e-mails on OKCupid (my new online dating service- Match was too boring).  I also received some Valentine’s wishes through text.  While the sentiment is lovely, I really found myself wanting to forgo the reminders.

According to the Huffington Post Divorce section, divorce filings increase around Valentine’s Day as unhappy spouses see romantic couples and sweet TV commercials reminding us of the importance of love, and they realize that their relationship is over.  So while some may see it as the most romantic day of the year, others feel bitter and resentful about the lack of passion and partner appreciation.  Aren’t we giving this day too much power? Read the rest of this entry »

My Second Hand Man

Like me, you will have a

Few battle scars, albeit nicely healed.

You will have loved well and

Been loved, tenderly, passionately, maybe even

Too well, like a child’s bear

With lumpy stuffing, missing some hair.

You will crave companionship, yet need

Your independence, and that precious thing

We call space (a man cave?).

You will know yourself and do

what makes you happy, and I

Will gladly do the same. You

will take pleasure in my laugh,

And I will use it often

When you walk into the room.

We will not be each other’s

Lives, but merely be the finish

That allows the wood to shine.

You will delight in my children,

As all my friends do, really.

And my California family, no one

Can resist their energy and charisma.

And I will embrace your package

As well (no pun intended please!).

I’m sure to find you in

Some unexpected corner, behind used books

Or some funky sweaters or boots.

There you will be, waiting for

Me, my lovely second hand man.

* * * * * * * * * *
It is a Six Word Friday.

127 Hours: Lessons from Adversity

I love a movie that makes me question my life and leaves me feeling uplifted and inspired.  Despite my initial hesitation to see a film about a man who gets stuck in a canyon for five days only to cut his arm off to get free, I went to see 127 Hours this weekend and I was blown away.  By now, everyone knows that it is based on the autobiography of Aron Ralston who was canyoneering in Utah when a boulder got dislodged and irrevocably pinned his arm against the rock face.  Yes, the film is a bit gory at times and also claustrophobic.  It may make you squirm and wince, yet it also provides an amazing lesson in how to deal with adversity.

As I thought about the movie over the last few days, I realize that it had a lot of resonance for me.  While divorce is arguably less dramatic than Ralston’s fate, losing a spouse and the life that you had as a family can often feel just as traumatic as losing a limb.  His experience is a reminder that we all face moments of extreme pain and suffering and we have two choices, to give up or to survive.  While Ralston was trapped in this canyon, facing what seemed to be his inevitable death, he did three very important things.  He reflected upon his life and the mistakes that he made, he imagined moments of happiness, and he took concrete steps to rectify his situation.  This trifecta is the epitome of resilience, and is one that we can all learn from when dealing with our own difficulties.

Read the rest of this entry »