Posted: October 31st, 2010 | Author: Molly Monet | Filed under: humorous moments | Tags: embarrassing situation, ex husband | 7 Comments »
The pirate wench at GoBerry
Today is Halloween and I am dressed as a pirate lass. As I sit here waiting to meet my kids, ex and his girlfriend to go trick or treating, I thought I’d regale you with a ghost story, a story of a Halloween past when my ex dressed up as a pirate and took his role just a tad too seriously.
We had just been separated a few months when Jonah decided that he wanted to have a Halloween party for his kindergarten classmates. As always, I bought beer for the adults because I believe that a bunch of parents of young kids who barely know each other need a little social lubrication in order to mingle. Since it was fall and I had made pumpkin treats, I got some good dark beers, not really noticing that one particular chocolate stout had a really high alcohol content. Maybe he was getting into his pirate role or maybe he is just a little shy and didn’t realize that the beer was particularly alcoholic, but by the end of the party my ex was pretty inebriated. Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: October 30th, 2010 | Author: Molly Monet | Filed under: challenges, tips for a peaceful divorce | Tags: dealing with conflict, family dinners, hot yoga | 9 Comments »
Lest you all think that we are some kind of supernatural phenomenon, I do want to let you know that we still do have disagreements. Last night was a perfect example. It was our family dinner night, and it didn’t have the most auspicious start. Both kids had play dates but Jonah’s ended earlier than Layla’s, and he was feeling a bit out of sorts. Pretty soon they were at each other’s throats and I got caught up in mediation instead of food preparation.
So when my ex arrived I was feeling a bit stressed and behind. Layla and he launched into a beading project that took up the whole dinner table, and, well, that didn’t help. He calmly asked for five more minutes and so I made us some pumpkin cocktails, inspired by a delicious $11 cocktail that I once had at Tabella in Amherst (a place that has shushed me by the way). We had a lovely dinner and everything seemed fine. After dinner, my ex cleaned the kitchen and I played Bananagrams with the kids.
Here’s where I made my big mistake.
I engaged in a text exchange with a friend while playing. My ex was doing the dishes so I didn’t think it was a big deal, but my contact with my friends has been an ongoing issue for him. He has often felt that I make them too big of a priority (a post for another time). He has gotten texts from his girlfriend during our dinners, but unbeknownst to me, he recently told her not to write him while he’s at our house (a very nice gesture).
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: October 29th, 2010 | Author: Molly Monet | Filed under: joys | Tags: children, Divorce, family, six word fridays | 17 Comments »
A precious little girl lies sleeping
On my shoulder, smiling at me
She loves me so, her eyes
Twinkle when I enter a room
As she runs to me, elated
Eager to hug and kiss me,
Tell me sweetly about her day.
The way she treats me is
A reflection of the immense love
In her heart, of her joy
at being my daughter and friend.
How we treat each other matters.
It sets the stage for years
To come, it establishes the tone.
* * *
When I think of the waning
Years of my marriage, I wonder
How did it come to this?
When did we start blaming the
Other for our own life disappointments?
We no longer treated each other
With tenderness, consideration and sweet anticipation.
We began to see each other
As co-workers or competitors over the
Limited resources of time and money.
We even wrestled over professional success.
* * *
With time and distance, we’ve progressed.
This week the kids had half-days.
We each gave what we had
Me: the space. Him: the time.
Tuesday, while hosting a play date,
He cleaned my house, as only
He could, it sparkled and shone.
Today, pumpkins were decorated and hot
Tea was waiting in the teapot.
We now smile, hug, and kiss.
Maybe not with Layla’s ardent passion
But with affection and sincere appreciation.
Divorce has reconfigured our family ways.
We treat each other kindly now.
And with little eyes and ears
Around us, that’s a tremendous feat.
How we treat each other matters.
It sets the stage for years
To come, it establishes the tone.
* * * * * * * *
It has been such a treat to participate recently in Six Word Fridays. I now look forward to getting the topic (treat) all week and I rush to see what others have penned. It’s fascinating to see where my brain goes on a certain idea and then read other poems that have interpreted the concept in a whole different way. I also love the community of bloggers that has formed around this ritual and appreciate their comments and support for my fledging poetic efforts.
Posted: October 27th, 2010 | Author: Molly Monet | Filed under: challenges | Tags: dating after divorce, ex-boyfriend, my ex's girlfriend | 10 Comments »
The kids have been asking me some really tough questions lately about God, death, wars, and stuff like that. So I should have been prepared for today’s hardball. It’s actually a question that they have asked me before, and I have only given a perfunctory answer. Layla asked me if I liked my ex husband’s girlfriend.
I took a breath, as I often do these days when I need a chance to access my higher self as it were, and responded truthfully. I don’t really know her very well, but she seems nice because she loves them so much. Layla said, Oh you would love her. Jonah followed up with more questions. I told him that it was a little uncomfortable for me to be friends with a woman who is with the man that I was with for thirteen years. Even though I don’t want to be married to their dad anymore, my heart still hurts a little thinking about him with someone else. I asked him if he understood and he said that he did.
A few minutes later, while eating frozen yogurt at GoBerry, Layla asked a follow-up question, presumably because she was thinking about the people that my ex and I have dated. She asked me if I still liked Marc (my ex bf, aka wound splitter, aka grey sweat suit guy). I said no, and Jonah, my peacemaker, said, but you are still friends, right? I told him that I didn’t really consider him to be a friend because he wasn’t honest with me. Although I have forgiven him (I certainly don’t want to teach them to hold grudges), I have decided that he is not the kind of person that I want to be friends with. Again I asked if he understood and he said he did.
Later on at dinner Layla asked me if I loved to fart. Jonah followed up with, Do we fart louder as we get older? I was definitely grateful for the softballs this time.
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