Object to Nothing

Last Saturday evening I was dining with a couple of friends and their kids, and we ladies decided to set a challenge for ourselves for the week.  We decided that we would embrace the adage that my sister is so fond of “Object to Nothing.”  The idea behind it is that if you have an open mind, you might find a new path interesting, instructive, even life-changing.  It’s also a means of making sure that you are not thwarting with negativity opportunities that are coming your way.

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I love a good love story

Another beautiful postcard moment.

Justine didn’t mention something in her article yesterday.  She has a new Guy that she is very passionate about, the one in the postcard, the father of her adorable daughter.  She took a risk ending a relationship that was not bringing her joy and now she has the life that she knew she wanted when she left her marriage.  I love a good love story so I want to share hers with you all.

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Right Where It Belongs

Today’s post is written by a guest blogger, Justine, a Malaysian immigrant who came to the United States sixteen years ago to get her degree and never left.  She writes a very beautiful and personal blog, Here Where I Have Landed, that is dedicated to the recording of her life stories for her daughter.  In addition to being the memory keeper for her family, she is also a divorcee.

Since her blog is about her new family, I asked Justine if she would share with us something about her past, about her divorce and how it has impacted her life.  She responded with this lyrical piece “Right Where It Belongs,” which, like many of my pieces, takes its title from a song.  This honest essay about her decision to end her marriage reminds me of one of my favorite quotes (by Joseph Campbell).  ”We must be willing to get rid of the life that we have planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”

Justine in her post-divorce splendor.  It’s quite a postcard, isn’t it?

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I am glad that he is my ex

Yesterday, Jonah reminded me of an episode that happened a couple of months ago, when my ex lost his driver’s license, that I had written about but never posted because I thought it was too negative.  My intention for this blog is to show others that it is possible to have a peaceful and loving relationship with your ex, one that benefits everyone around you, especially the kids.

However, the conflicts, or the moments in which I scream thank God I’m no longer with this man, are a little harder to tell.  I don’t want to make my ex look bad because that would be counterproductive to our peace, now wouldn’t it? (He is a pretty regular reader of the blog.)  In addition, I have trouble with negativity  myself.  I’ll admit it.  I’m addicted to positive thinking, which usually serves me really well, but sometimes people think that I am a Pollyanna (which is a discussion for a different blog post). Read the rest of this entry »

Zen and the Art of Relationship Maintenance

Imagine the scene, if you will.  I am coming home from an eye doctor’s appointment and I’m hypoglycemic (if you suffer from that, you’ll know what it can do to a person).  My ex has called me to tell me that his car has died at my house, oh and by the way, his girlfriend is there too because they stopped by to get some of our old camping gear.  So I’m hungry, cranky, and annoyed that my ex’s girlfriend is at MY house.  WTF?

I walk in, and she is sitting at the kitchen table doing the NYT crossword puzzle, from my paper.   Read the rest of this entry »