American Toes

Here are our American toes.

Four years ago in July, my sister visited me right after Independence Day, both America’s and my own.  My husband had just moved out of our house and I was feeling sad and confused.  A visit from my sister was exactly what I needed.

She arrived with lots of love, support, inspirational CDs (which actually helped quite a bit) and…laughter.  No one can make me laugh like my sister.  We just get onto a topic and get so goofy that it becomes an unending laugh-a-thon.  One of the reasons that my sister is so funny is that she has a sweet innocence about her that sometimes leads her into comical misunderstandings with people.

Read the rest of this entry »

Cupid’s Arrows

Despite the fact that I was hanging out at home alone last night, it seems as though Cupid’s arrows were flying everywhere on my behalf.  The credit belongs to OKCupid, the new online dating service that I am using.  The Match guys were getting pretty boring.  The OKC guys, on the other hand, are pretty darned funny, yet not always in a good way.

Despite not receiving much activity for a while, the last few days have been full of interesting missives.  I am chalking it up to the Valentine’s effect.  People realize that they are alone and better do something about it.  I’ve been entertaining my friends on Facebook with updates about the guys all day, so I thought I’d share the love with my blog readers too.

One guy said that my profile struck him dumb, that he had spent days trying to come up with something witty and memorable to catch my eye but that he literally couldn’t think of a thing.  So…he asked for my help in starting the conversation.  Read the rest of this entry »

Dear Universe

Dear Universe,

I thought this was going to be my year.  I was feeling so serene at the change over, open to whatever you brought me without strong expectation or attachment.  Then you created a snow storm that canceled my weekend date.  That should have been no big deal but due to child care schedules, it seems like it will take another two weeks to re-schedule.  It made me question his interest in me and wish for some fire and passion.

So a few days later, you fire-bombed me, sending a man who asked me to join him at the local greenhouse, apparently hoping that things would get steamy.  Read the rest of this entry »

How to Teach an Old Dog New Tricks…Divorce Him.

Does your partner ever do something that just drives you nuts?  Maybe it’s the way he pronounces a certain word or eats his food or forgets to put the cap back on the toothpaste tube.  I know, it’s petty and silly, but it can be crazy making.
Well, I had a particular pet peeve and tried as hard as I might, I never got my ex to change this habit (surprise, surprise).  After we had kids and I took some time off from teaching, we went from sharing the cooking and cleaning duties to me being the full-time cook and him being the cleaner.  It made sense because that played to our strong suits, and I was also now doing the food shopping.  Exhausted by my young kids, I went to bed pretty early on most evenings, while my ex was a night owl.  As he stayed up late and watched movies or whatnot, he had the tendency to snack a lot.  This was not one of my favorite habits, but I admitted that it was just a control issue for me.  Except for one big sticking point.  If he finished a food item, I wanted him to put that item on the shopping list.
I get in moods to cooks certain dishes and so I keep a lot of different foods on hand, just in case.  As a result, I would make plans to make a dish only to find out that a key ingredient was missing because…that’s right, he had finished it and not put it on the list.  I know.  I know.  This should have been no big deal.  Or he should have offered to run to the market to pick it up.  But he didn’t.  He refused, and this would drive me crazy.  I felt like he was being selfish.  And yes, I wanted to control the kitchen pantry.  In my defense, he benefited greatly from my creative cooking impulses.  I made us wonderful dinners every night.
I’m such a shrew.  I know it, but this is one of the things I most love about living alone.  No one eats my cooking ingredients…or do they?  Since my ex and I have such an amicable relationship, he does his laundry here, usually about three times a week (he also does hot yoga, which creates a lot of sweaty clothes to be washed).  This is cool with me.  It gives us a chance to catch up, and he will often stay for dinner a couple of nights a week, which the kids love.  Sometimes, he snacks while he’s here.
I’ve finally gotten to the point where I don’t care about this.  He rarely finishes something completely, and I just don’t hang onto it the way I used to.  However, I was shocked, amazed really, when I got back from California and saw something on my shopping list.  Candied ginger.  My heart leapt.  How could a woman be so excited about candied ginger?  He had finished it and put it on the list!!!  Once again, I will admit how ridiculous this is, but it truly elated me.  And all it took was eight years and a divorce.  Or maybe, just maybe, it was because I stopped nagging him about it.

Monday Morning You’re Sure to Find…

…my kids reading the New Yorker before breakfast.  Clearly my ex and I have to be very careful what kind of behavior we are modeling.  I should have listened when warned about the dangers of the liberal media.  Look at what it has done to my kids.  Layla doesn’t even have pants on.