Kids Ask Tough Questions
Posted: October 27th, 2010 | Author: Molly Monet | Filed under: challenges | Tags: dating after divorce, ex-boyfriend, my ex's girlfriend | 10 Comments »
The kids have been asking me some really tough questions lately about God, death, wars, and stuff like that. So I should have been prepared for today’s hardball. It’s actually a question that they have asked me before, and I have only given a perfunctory answer. Layla asked me if I liked my ex husband’s girlfriend.
I took a breath, as I often do these days when I need a chance to access my higher self as it were, and responded truthfully. I don’t really know her very well, but she seems nice because she loves them so much. Layla said, Oh you would love her. Jonah followed up with more questions. I told him that it was a little uncomfortable for me to be friends with a woman who is with the man that I was with for thirteen years. Even though I don’t want to be married to their dad anymore, my heart still hurts a little thinking about him with someone else. I asked him if he understood and he said that he did.
A few minutes later, while eating frozen yogurt at GoBerry, Layla asked a follow-up question, presumably because she was thinking about the people that my ex and I have dated. She asked me if I still liked Marc (my ex bf, aka wound splitter, aka grey sweat suit guy). I said no, and Jonah, my peacemaker, said, but you are still friends, right? I told him that I didn’t really consider him to be a friend because he wasn’t honest with me. Although I have forgiven him (I certainly don’t want to teach them to hold grudges), I have decided that he is not the kind of person that I want to be friends with. Again I asked if he understood and he said he did.
Later on at dinner Layla asked me if I loved to fart. Jonah followed up with, Do we fart louder as we get older? I was definitely grateful for the softballs this time.
Who doesn’t love to fart?
That’s why it was the easy question!
Sometimes our kids can be our greatest teachers. I know I learned a lot from you, Molly, although sometimes it wasn’t easy to hear. Love, Dad
That’s because you had an idea of how you wanted me to act. I think that I try to be as open-minded as possible with my kids, but they still have taught me a lot. And you were a great parent role model!
Thank goodness they punctuate those really tough questions with some easy ones! It gives us a breather, to gather our thoughts for the next barrage.
BigLittleWolf recently posted..Ghosts- Goblins- and Ghouls
Oh yes! Plus we need the comic relief.
Wow. Good answers. I get questions like that from my beautiful step-children (ages 4 and 9) sometimes, and always try to answer them honestly, but with respect for the importance their “other family” has in their lives. Sometimes this is harder than it sounds! Good job, Molly. :-)
Juliana recently posted..Georgia-Florida Weekend Begins
Thanks, Juliana. It’s great to hear from someone who goes through this too.
Molly you seemed to handle your answers with grace. I know when my girls asked these types of questions, I had to swallow, breathe, look at their sweet faces and answer. While my ex was very wounded from the divorce (who escapes unscathed?), he had a tendency to speak from his hurt place. But I always reminded him, THIS ISN’T ABOUT YOU, ME OR US. THIS IS ABOUT THE GIRLS. They are now 18 and 21 and have grown up to be empathetic, great women…and they still ask the tough questions.
Thanks for sharing with me Michelle. I love to hear from people whose children are older. And yes, I imagine the questions keep coming…