My platonic boyfriend Tobey doesn’t always read my blog. He’s got me to fill him in on the news in person. So he wasn’t privy to my ex’s recent outbreak of nostalgia. When I told him about it, he was flummoxed and tried to say something measured but instead came out with this. “I won’t let you get back together with him.” Aww…isn’t that sweet? He’s afraid of me getting hurt or he’s concerned about my well-being. Nope. His reasoning was the following “You wouldn’t be fun anymore, and you wouldn’t have time for me.” I laughed and reassured him that I will not let any suitor/boyfriend/ex hubby get in the way of our relationship and that our Thursday night group is sacred to me.
I couldn’t resist sharing Tobey’s response with my ex. I know. I am a bigmouth, but if I weren’t, I would miss out on all sorts of interesting drama, such as this. “If we were to reconcile (and I’m not saying that I want to), I would never keep you from friends and your social life. When we were together you used to go to bed at 9 o’clock every night. Now you are much more interesting.” Well, I could have responded with feigned outrage about how is a working mother, whose two young children are in pre-school three mornings a week (just long enough for her to teach 2 classes a semester), supposed to be fun, but instead I chuckled at the irony of it.
And it made me think of my favorite break-up song “So What” by Pink, who, in another ironic turn, has reconciled with the ex that she sings about.
I’m still a rock star,
I got my rock moves,
And I don’t need you,
And guess what,
I’m having more fun,
And now that we’re done,
I’m gonna show you tonight,
I’m just fine.
My sister downloaded some Pink onto the iPod that she gave me, and this became my favorite song. Even though Pink is a lot more hostile and angry than I am (have you seen her video for “Please Don’t Leave Me”?), her songs have an infectious devil-may-care attitude and her beat just always makes me feel happy and invincible. When I would feel down, blue or (heaven forbid) powerless, I would play this song, and it would get my adrenaline going and make me feel just angry enough to do something about my problems. And it made me feel like my ex just didn’t matter. So what? You know what? I am way happier and more fun now that I am alone. When my ex said the same thing back to me, I had to laugh. I had no idea how well that mantra would work.