I Now Have a Relationship Coach

These two people look like they are having a nice date, don't they?

The day after Jon and I broke up, I received an e-mail from a blogger friend of mine (one of those lovely people that I have never met in person but have bonded with through our blogs and Facebook).  She said she didn’t want to be insensitive but was wondering if I would be interested in working with a dating coach that was looking for bloggers to write about the coaching process.  My response?  Sure, why not?  I was standing at a moment in which none of my previous efforts had led me to Mr. Right, so I might as well try a new approach.  We all need a new approach from time to time, no?

Yesterday, I had my first phone call with Sheila Paxton, the dating coach.  After reading my friend Mandy’s experience with her, I knew that my goals would be different from hers.  Mandy had needed help getting back into the dating game, so to speak.  I know many of my readers feel that way, and having a coach to advise you and cheer you on could be exactly what you need to overcome the terror of it all.  I, however, don’t seem to have a problem dating.  In fact, when I posted on Facebook that I was getting a dating coach, one of my friends said that I could BE a dating coach.  It is true that I don’t have trouble meeting men and going on dates with them.  I have dated guys that I met online (of course), in the gym, in a café, in a bar (although he likes to say that it was the bar area of a nice restaurant so that it sounds less seedy), in yoga (you gotta love the post-class smoothie at the Haymarket even if you don’t end up loving the guy), on Facebook (he friended me and then asked me out and I laughed that he was trolling FB for dates), and through my blog.  I think we can safely say that I’ve got the meeting men part down pat.

So why I am engaging the services of a dating coach, even if it is for free (we are doing an exchange of services: she coaches me and I blog about it, no endorsement required)?  Well, I guess it starts with my childhood (ha! You weren’t expecting that, were you?).  My parents, of fifty-year marriage fame, were involved in a group called Creative Initiative Foundation back in the seventies, and they often went to seminars on spirituality, human potential, and marital health (for lack of a better word).  My sister, following in their footsteps, recently attended a Psi seminar with her husband, and she has also sent her employees to it.  In other words, I come from a family tradition of self-examination and the desire for self-improvement.  If I were still married right now, I’m sure that my ex and I would be going to a seminar as well (and that would have been fascinating, but we can only speculate about that alternate reality).  So here I am, the divorced and single blogger, looking for love, and wondering why I haven’t found it yet, and a dating coach presents herself.  It makes perfect sense, except I have decided that I am now going to call her a relationship coach since I don’t really need a dating coach but instead somehow who will help me find the right relationship.

Last night, when I told a new friend of mine that I was doing this, she said “You’re beautiful, smart, and hysterical (she’s a keeper, huh?).  What can she do for you?  Deliver you a man?”  That’s what I am hoping.  Sheila calls her company Intentional Relationships and she coaches people on all kinds of relationships, including business ones.  I am hoping that by setting some concrete intentions, by clarifying what I really want in a relationship, and focusing on looking for men that have the qualities that I know I want, I will attract the right person into my life.  And in the process, I hope to learn a thing or two about myself.  So stay tuned readers, because I am sharing the wealth with you.  Now I am going to go edit my online dating profile.

Related posts:

1. Zen and the Art of Relationship Maintenance
2. Having a Relationship with my Ex’s Girlfriend
3. I Like a Guy Who Can…Talk
4. My First Foray into Dating