Moment By Moment
Posted: January 14th, 2011 | Author: Molly Monet | Filed under: challenges | Tags: dating after divorce, dealing with conflict, ex-boyfriend, six word fridays | 21 Comments »
First we were awkward, nervously asking
Pleasant questions about each other’s lives.
Then he launched into his meaculpa
I got sassy and asked if
He was in therapy. He laughed.
My initial response was to say
This isn’t necessary. I’m taking care
Of it myself, inside of me.
But he continued talking, kindly, openly.
I started to weaken, tears welled
Inside of my throat, I refused
To let them out, to let
Him experience how vulnerable I felt.
He (admirably?) persisted in his quest.
I kept resisting until I realized
Resistance makes feelings stronger, more powerful.
And so I let go and
Opened my ears and heart to
What he was saying, and I
Finally accepted what he was offering.
I found myself softening and relaxing
Thereby feeling so much better, lighter.
We were even able to talk
About happy memories of times together.
In the end, he was right.
Talking did help facilitate some peace.
It brought us to a moment
Of clarity, warmth, connection, and love.
As I contemplated each moment of
Our interchange I thought of a
Joni Mitchell lyric that had been
On my mind during the day:
“All I really want our love
To do is to bring out
The best in me and in
You too.” (Such optimism from Joni!)
In that moment, I do believe
That we brought out the best
In each other despite the pain.
A lofty goal achieved in one
Single moment. Could we all strive
For that in each interchange we
Have? I’d like to think so.
I’d like to be my best
Self at this moment, and each
And every one that comes along.
* * * * * * * *
This post is about the meeting that I had yesterday with my ex boyfriend Marc, the famous wound splitter and grey sweatsuit guy. I told him about his monikers. Amazingly enough, he still doesn’t understand what is wrong with the grey combo. What could I possibly do with that?
This poem, as is my Friday tradition, is linked to Six Word Fridays. I did cheat a bit by making mea culpa one word (it’s my fault). This week’s topic was “at this moment.” And what are you up to at this moment (other than reading this blog)?
No related posts.
Emotional and moving!
ayala recently posted..Thinking About Tuscon
Letting go can be so difficult, but so relieving in the end.
Very touching.
Colleen recently posted..Friday Photo Fun- Blizzard Bonanza
Thank you both!
Accepting what is offered can be so hard. But usually is worth doing.
Brook recently posted..Orlando and Gender Roles
It really made me realize that I am much better at giving than receiving. Maybe many of us are, but I’m going to start accepting more of what people have to offer.
Closure. Ahhh… isn’t it the best?
T recently posted..Clearing the Past
It is, T, but the funny thing is that I never thought it would happen in this way.
Opening up can be so healing. Lovely words about vulnerability and trusting. Oh, and I love Joni, too.
Joni is a high priestess of poetry in my book.
After knowing him for 16 years, tonight my ex admitted that he has never liked Joni Mitchell. I am flabbergasted.
Raw and beautiful, as always. I love the Joni Mitchell quote.
Thanks, Sara. Wow. I guess my writing is raw. I never thought about it that way.
Even my ex had to admit that Joni has a lot of great lines about relationships.
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Molly Monet, Molly Monet. Molly Monet said: An ex boyfriend asked to get together to dialogue. I had my doubts. Here's the story. http://fb.me/PuhEjjCn [...]
Being our best, being our selves:
Worth pursuing in every single moment.
melissa recently posted..six word fridays- at this moment
I like the honesty of your self-reflection. There’s an applicability to it beyond moving through a divorce. I enjoy reading your journey, Molly. :)
Mel Gallant recently posted..six word fridays- at this moment
Oh ya – and Joni rocks! ;)
Mel Gallant recently posted..six word fridays- at this moment
Oh, goodness, the letting go lesson. It’s beautifully told by you, and it’s a lesson I need to be reminded of often.
Michelle Zive recently posted..Five Questions for Friday
Thank you, Mel. I think I have used my divorce as a sort of opportunity to reflect upon my life in general, and especially relationships. What I have learned from it has been applicable to so much more than my relationship with my ex hubby.
Yes she does!
I realize that I have written in the past about letting go, as in letting thing be instead of churning them up. But here I was also letting go into a moment, allowing my control and defense mechanisms to lower. Both meanings of the expression are challenging. Thanks for the compliment, Michelle.
[...] our yoga studio when I was working the front desk. I’m not quite sure why everything between us becomes a drama, but it does. Clearly I am supposed to be learning a big time lesson in equanimity from him. [...]