Sometimes happiness comes under the most unexpected of circumstances.

On the Eve of Your Divorce

Posted: December 7th, 2010 | Author: | Filed under: tips for a peaceful divorce | Tags: , , | 22 Comments »

reaching for the light

This poem is dedicated to my dear friend AAC.

On the eve of your divorce,

I want you to remember

That you haven’t lost love.

You found it the day you met her.

And that love endures,

Not only in your two beautiful daughters,

But also in the way that you and your ex

Treat each other.

I am inspired by how you move

With each other’s tides,

Adapting your schedules seamlessly

To help each other out.

She gets a new job?

You take the kids to school every morning.

One of you has concert tickets?

The other fills in.

One of you is going through a rough time?

The other is there for her,

Listening and supporting,

No matter what is on your plate.

Remember too that since your breakup

You have learned,

To open yourself up,

To new experiences and feelings,

And you have rediscovered yourself,

Which is no small feat.

Oh my sweet friend

With your heart wide open,

I know that you are feeling tender tonight.

Remember that I love you and

So appreciate having

A comrade in peaceful divorceland.

Tomorrow you will untie the knot,

And the one in your stomach will ease too.

Well-being will flow back into your body

Because the hard transition,

You have already made.

And you know that the decision was right

For you, for her, and for your sweet daughters.

Tomorrow is not only an ending,

But a beginning too.

I look forward to being

An observer and co-conspirator

As your future unfurls,

Like a flower reaching for the sun.

Related posts:

  1. The Friendly Divorce
  2. The Victimless Divorce
  3. An Advocate for Divorce?
  4. How Did I Get a Peaceful Divorce?
  5. Being a Family After Divorce

22 Comments on “On the Eve of Your Divorce”

  1. 1 Kent Pelz said at 12:08 am on December 8th, 2010:

    Beautiful, Molly. Isn’t it interesting that life’s traumas are the very thing that deepen and enrich our spirit and make us more beautiful and expressive human beings than we were before the trauma.

  2. 2 Molly Monet said at 6:51 am on December 8th, 2010:

    Yes, Dad. Very well put.

  3. 3 The Exception said at 2:20 pm on December 8th, 2010:

    Wonderfully composed. It is interesting to me that people divorcing forget all the love that they once shared or felt for one another. They always have that capacity to love if they choose to see it.
    The Exception recently posted..Any Day at the Office

  4. 4 ayala said at 7:11 pm on December 8th, 2010:

    Beautiful,Molly ! Your children are blessed to have you both for parents!
    ayala recently posted..The Artist

  5. 5 Molly Monet said at 7:40 pm on December 8th, 2010:

    Thanks, Ayala. I guess I should have clarified that this poem is dedicated to a friend of mine who finalized her divorce today. She too is a peaceful divorcee.

  6. 6 Molly Monet said at 7:42 pm on December 8th, 2010:

    Oh , TE, if we could figure out that conundrum, we would be the wisest women in the world. The only thing I can understand is that anger and resentment are the flip side of the love they once felt.

  7. 7 aac said at 10:49 pm on December 8th, 2010:

    molly, you know. you know how blessed i feel to have you in my life. thank you for your friendship, laughter, wisdom and your ability to share with honestly and openness.

    kent, i try often to articulate the blossoming that has come from the pain. you state it so clearly and capture it so well. what you wrote reminds me of a piece i read early on after my former spouse and i split, and these words are what continue to ring so true for me.

    “it pierces you to the heart, it humbles you and awakens compassion, and actually makes you more tender and more open.” pema chodron.

    and, finally i share this from my former spouse “today i say goodbye to a spouse and hello to an old friend.

  8. 8 Privilege of Parenting said at 12:15 am on December 9th, 2010:

    I love the soft spirit pulsing in this poem and responses, the willingness to love rather than force, to learn rather than direct, to realize that while we shift roles we’re all together in ways we may be here to more deeply discover.
    Privilege of Parenting recently posted..Mirror Mirror

  9. 9 Michele said at 9:32 am on December 9th, 2010:

    I was so touched by your poem. And so reminded that I am still lost and hope that I can find the clarity you have.
    Michele recently posted..The Attitude of Gratitude

  10. 10 DC said at 9:36 am on December 9th, 2010:

    well said molly,
    as the ex spouse in the poem i happy to read your words… they are beautiful, and i am glad AAC has you in her life. life is truly a journey not a destination. and as for the love that AAC and i share(d)… it is never ending. bittersweet, more sweet than bitter.

  11. 11 Molly Monet said at 11:00 am on December 9th, 2010:

    Michele, you will find it! You aren’t lost…you are searching. There is a difference.

  12. 12 Molly Monet said at 11:00 am on December 9th, 2010:

    Oh, DC, I’m glad that you read the poem and enjoyed it. You two have such a lovely relationship and I am so fortunate to be a witness to it. I agree that while there are bittersweet moments, there are way more benefits to still having that love in your life. I admire you both for realizing that and making it happen. Thanks for sharing with us!

  13. 13 Molly Monet said at 11:02 am on December 9th, 2010:

    DC’s words are very wise. Thanks for sharing with us. And of course, thanks for being my dear friend. I so benefit from having you in my life. I love you.

  14. 14 Kent Pelz said at 11:35 am on December 9th, 2010:

    I believe EVERYTHING that happens in our lives, happens for a reason — to help us grow into more than we’ve ever been before. The Universe is too intelligent to create situations that have no meaning. Believing this, every time I experience a challenge or obstacle, I try to re-frame it from a “problem” to a “learning opportunity” being given to me by the Universe.

    Molly, watching you grow and mature through your life challenges has convinced me that all adversity is the “manure” that makes possible the beautiful rose.

  15. 15 Molly Monet said at 11:40 am on December 9th, 2010:

    Are you talking about horse shit now? XO

  16. 16 T said at 3:08 pm on December 9th, 2010:

    Wow. That is a GORGEOUS send off of one beautiful life to transition into another. Great post.

  17. 17 Molly Monet said at 4:20 pm on December 9th, 2010:

    Thanks for the compliment, T. My friend deserves it!

  18. 18 Sara said at 5:52 pm on December 10th, 2010:

    Your words are a gift. Literally.

  19. 19 Molly Monet said at 6:09 pm on December 10th, 2010:

    Thank you, dear!

  20. 20 How Did I End Up Divorced? | Postcards from a Peaceful Divorce said at 10:48 pm on January 4th, 2011:

    [...] and received admiring comments from some of my divorced friends, Michele, T, MomZombie, and AAC.  As I read them, I wondered if they, like me, felt just a twinge of sadness at their inability to [...]

  21. 21 Postcards from a Peaceful Divorce » Blog Archive » My Divorce Community said at 8:19 pm on April 20th, 2011:

    [...] Later I friended a fellow yogini [...]

  22. 22 Postcards from a Peaceful Divorce » Blog Archive » Start a Conversation, Start a Connection said at 11:35 am on March 4th, 2012:

    [...] Years later, I started a conversation with a woman that I had seen a few times in yoga when I saw her with her kids at a pool in Northampton.  It turned out that she was going through a divorce, and I basically asked her out.  I can’t remember how, but I think I got her email and said let’s have drinks after yoga some night.  Again, she is now one of my dearest friends and, as a fellow divorcee, she and I have helped each other time and time again navigate the sometimes rocky terrain of co-parenting, dating, and having a friendship with your ex. [...]


Leave a Reply

  • CommentLuv badge