Yesterday just wasn’t one of my finest days. I think the kids and I are suffering from a surfeit of summer and Utah’s death has us feeling raw as well. Layla got mad at me for making her get dressed to go out in the morning and told me that she hated me (not a frequent nor fun occurrence). Jonah wanted to listen to music, and Layla screamed for quiet. Jonah wanted to go to the gym and Layla wanted to stay home. They were at each other’s and my throats all day long. Usually I let days like this pass without a fuss but instead I felt cross and impatient with them both.
As I always do, I searched for something, anything, to make me feel better. Ironically the thought that cheered me up was that today I go back to work for the first time since May. Before yesterday I was feeling down about this turn of events, and then I realized that it is time. It is time to be busy again, to feel the hum of activity, to have the kids back in school, making new friends and learning a few new things. And it is time for me to get back to my other kids, my college students.
Today is Thursday, Thank You Journal day at Alli’n Son, a blog that invites other bloggers to link up their posts about appreciation. I think you all know what a big believer I am in gratitude. Simply put, when I appreciate things or people in my life, I find that I have even more to appreciate. Considering this economy and my ex’s difficulty finding full time academic work, I am so grateful that I have such a good job.
The following is a list of the reasons why I appreciate my work.
1) I have been able to arrange my schedule so that I am available most days to drop off and pick up my kids at school.
2) I love educating young women. My students are motivated and appreciative, and I often learn from them, especially about their generation’s values.
3) I love being a teacher. All things considered, I think that by teaching young women Spanish and Hispanic culture, I am contributing something worthwhile to the world. At the very least, they can order a cold beer on the beaches of Cancun.
4) I enjoy contributing to the advancement of women in our society. Although I’m not quite the feminist that I once was in my twenties (thank God for that because back then I was frankly a humorless ideologue), I do think that we need more women in positions of leadership in all aspects of our society. I am happy to share both my knowledge and some of my life wisdom with them.
5) I have talented colleagues. They have creative ideas, which they are willing to share, which is somewhat rare for academics. They are also compassionate people, who work really hard, yet acknowledge that we have personal lives that need our attention as well.
6) I am very excited to have my own office this year. My previous officemate was great, but there is something very peaceful about having a room of one’s own away from home.
7) I have Fridays off from teaching so that I can get grading and class planning done. In addition, I can have coffee at the Woodstar café with my buddy Tobey. This also means that Thursday nights are the beginning of my weekend, which makes the night that I hang with my yoga friends even more special.
8) I can do work from home. The benefit of being an academic is the freedom to do work at home in the evenings and on Sundays. Of course that can also be a disadvantage, but I am a glass half full kinda gal.
9) I have much time off, including January and the summer months.
10) My job flexibility has allowed me to start this blog, which I have really come to love. I enjoy the creativity of the writing process, the dialogue with my readers, and the almost daily process of reflecting upon what has gone right in my divorce. To a certain extent, this is my own gratitude journal. Thank you all for being a part of that!
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So tell me…What aspects do you like most about your job?
Do you find that when you appreciate your life, you feel happier?
“Madame, all stories, if continued far enough, end in death, and he is no true story teller who would keep that from you.” Ernest Hemingway, Death in the Afternoon
My husband said that he knew he liked me when he saw me walking my elderly dog in the streets of our neighborhood in New Haven. Mona, a brindled beagle and pit bull mix, had found her way into my life in the winter before I knew that I was moving to the East Coast. She was an older dog with an injured knee. A friend of mine was dating a veterinarian who saved stray dogs and she asked me if I’d be willing to adopt her. Now that I look back on it, it was kind of an impetuous decision but I said sure.
My dad took one look at her and said one of the most profound things that he has ever said to me, It looks like you have the same taste in dogs as you do in men. read more…

Layla's altar constructed twelve years to the day on which we made our own trip to the wedding altar
Yesterday was August 29, a date that I will always remember because it is the day when my ex and I got married. This year was the 12th anniversary of that moment in which we pledged to spend our lives together. We may no longer be romantically involved or living together, but we are still very much a part of each other’s lives.
We celebrated this date with our kids, who were very excited about it. My daughter asked to see my wedding ring and made me wear it. I put it on my right hand, where it was a bit small but nonetheless fit. As luck would have it, however, we got a late summer heat wave and my hands swelled so it seems I may be wearing it for a while. It’s a beautiful “dinner” ring from the 1920’s that never was meant to be a wedding ring so I am considering that I might enjoy keeping it on. Three years time from our original breakup allows me to feel okay with that. read more…




